The One Where School Sucks

I recently went back to school. By recently I mean last week, so school is all fresh to me (after two years of un-smarting myself and bumming). In fact as I write this I am in class, sketching this post as well as the illustrations in my notebook-not because I’m the keenest blogger in the world, but because I’m about to fall asleep and drawing is helping me stay alert...ok not alert, awake.

So I’m doing a Post Graduate Diploma in Education in a local well-known University. It’s been a harrowing experience I must say (I just love that word-harrowing, don’t you?), not just because of the University’s obvious lack of organization and systems (and we all know that yet we still pursue higher education).

It’s a whole other ball game being in the Masters Program, because: 

• You brought yourself to school. Nobody forced you to be here. So you drag yourself outta bed and into two three hour classes followed by another three hour library session all by yourself. Trust me, it  is stupider than it sounds.

• You’re older than you were in your Undergraduate years, so apparently you’re wiser and more mature and so you find class more meaningful and helpful in your life. Meaning skipping class only makes sense if you’re tending to your child or your boss, not if you feel like falling asleep in the car or sitting and staring wistfully at the bubbly, giddy freshmen.

•   Apparently, you want to be here now. Apparently education makes sense now. I’m here to tell you, it really doesn’t. It’s just like primary education, or higschool, or undergrad except now apparently you think you know why you’re here and so..sigh..and so..*breaks into sobs*

 

So sitting in class I can’t help but think of how I finally understand how my kiddies feel when they see me on that first day they’re dragged into school.

1. I don’t wanna wake up-the number of times I’ve been handed a little one half asleep is countless.        
   
   If only someone could hand me over to the lecturer and have the lecturer say, “oh it’s okay I’ll let her sleep for most of the morning." 
   
                                                                                                             
2.   I want to cry-*sigh* I really do.
                                   
3.   I’m always hungry-I think sitting in a classroom setting makes you hungry. I’m constantly seeing my kids sneaking bites of crisps or cookies into their mouths during circle time and I highly reprimand them, reminding them that, “class time is not snack time”.      
   
   The kids shouldn’t have seen me as I chomped on nuts and drank soda in class today afternoon, and constantly fantasized about the pilau and pizza pie I’d eat after.   
   
4. Cloud 9-I zone out proper! And so do my kids during circle time or in any other less than sliding and running activity. I used to get offended but now I will never get offended, I’ll just zone out with them.
   
5.    Can I just play?-My kids are always pestering me that they want to go outside and literally SCREAM with delight when I finally say, “okay guys, play time”. I hear the freshmen giggling and chatting outside. I just wanna go giggle and chat too, no?  
   
   
   
6. I don’t wanna make new friends-on the other hand, I don’t wanna make new friends!! You weirdo with the wide smile, don’t smile at me. You with the smelly breath, don’t breath. You with the awkward sniffling habit, use nosedrops.    
   
   
   Just let’s not be friends. Except in Uni you have to make friends because one of them will always call you to inform you of assignments due, the other is the class representative, and the last is the class smarty pants-and you know you gotta be friends with Ms. Smarty Pants.
   
7.  Books Suck-my kids don’t know how to read books. They look at them upside down, laugh at one funny picture, then proceed to throw them around, use them as hockey sticks, tear off papers and sometimes even chew them. Why can’t I do the same?  
   
8. Toilet break-the lecturer must think I have chronic diarrhoea the way I run out of class every five minutes. Nobody needs to pee that bad, it’s just because the outside world is more interesting. Once this lil girl told me she needs to pee about five times in a morning. I got suspicious and went to investigate-she was running around playing ‘Dinosaur’ with other kids. I will never take offence now that I know. Heck, I’d play that dinosaur game now!   
   
                                                                          

 Ok it’s not all bad I must admit. I do find myself smiling-even laughing-at the lecturers accent..err..jokes..and I find myself contributing in class. I also find myself, when I do eventually get to starting my assignments, enjoying them and even surpassing the word limit. And I hope that when I do finish this diploma, I’ll be dumb enough to want to pursue another Masters degree, then maybe a PhD then I can officially publish this blog as an education piece that will be in libraries worldwide. And y’all can call me Doctor Professor GathyGath J.

And P.S I really do now like my classmates. They’re actually really quite cool, smart and funny so FORGET Y’ALL FRESHMEN!!!