The One Where Some Humans Bore Me

Thing I don’t quite appreciate about some humans much. And call me out if ever I engage in such mindless banter.

1.      “Wow, you’re doing well and you’ve really lost weight”. 

2.     “I really want a new piercing and tattoo, and maybe cut my hair and dye it purple”

“No!!!! Don’t!”

3.     “What religion are you?”

4.     “So does this mean you don’t believe in God?”

5.     “So this means you don’t fellowship on Sunday?”

6.     “I don’t drive a car because I’d rather do other better things with my money instead of pay for fuel and servicing”

7.     “I don’t rent a house like yours because I’d rather wait and do something better with my money”

8.     “You’re eating all that!!!!?!”

*contemplates throwing your food at them* *the food’s too good, you eat it instead*

9.     “You drink too much”

 I’m really not as think as you drunk I am.

10.     “But why would you want to do that to yourself” 

Because I’ve always wanted to start a blog, write a book maybe and go on talk shows and the idea of Rich Dad, Poor Dad was already taken. So let’s go with depression instead, I told myself.

Note: These are often conversations between aquintances. Not your bestest buddies. Or family. And even your bestest buddies and family ask mindless things sometimes, as do you. It’s human nature. It just really really bores me.

Personal note: In trying to make this post more general and less chastising/condescending, I will confess, as I am human as well (unfortunately that x-man story was a lie. I am not, in fact, an x-man), to having been some of the people above. Out of insecurities and judginess, not genuine sharing or concern.

And I am in no way saying it is wrong to discuss weight, if there is need for concern-health, lifestyle and life changing illness, struggling to breath when sitting up, feeling faint and weak but 'it’s ok because you don’t have a muffin top', dying, and death  are real (my usual M.O of going 0-100).

Certain jobs and careers don’t appreciate body art, and that’s just a fact.

We can always talk about religion, we just know by now how to talk about religion. Mine is not better than yours; yours is no better than mine.

Who cares if you don’t drive or still live at home or still hustle instead of look for “a real job” or still eat at cheaper joints even if you could afford more affordable meals. Whatever you do towards your personal success is dope and I’d love to learn from you. And if there’s anything I’ve learnt feel free to learn from me.

Yes I am eating all that. And if I can’t finish, i’mma doggy bag this and eat the rest of it at home. Also please, let’s not stare at plates. It’s really rude.

Drinking can be a problem. We all know it-I know it. Tread carefully here; words you say in such situations may lead a potential problem drinker to spiral more or to their rehabilitation and healing. Or, people will just find you annoying and never wanna hang out with you because you're always willing to recount everything they did the night before. “BOY that’s why memory loss exists-we don’t wanna remember!” KIDDING!

Why would you harm yourself, why would you just stay in bed all day, why would you always cry, why would you try to kill yourself, why would you WANT to do that to yourself? I fail to understand why you’d WANT to do these things to yourself too and so this has led me to the belief that you actually don’t WANT to. Then maybe we can pick that conversation up from there.