My Day In Pictures

Guuuuyyss!!! So I’m driving with my mama in tow (does that mean she was in the passenger seat? Because that’s what I mean. I don’t mean, like, I towed her

). Anywho..so I’m driving and start to feel a tad bit hot. I roll down my window slightly to inhale the cool, fresh breeze.

I scratch behind my ear then reach for the radio..which is a  lie because my cars radio is a big hole where I put my phone and play music from there. Technically means I have a Sony radio in my car!

So I just scratch my ear. I continue whining to my Ma about something or other. I scratch behind my ear again; darn conrows, it’s time for a wash, maybe. I reach my hand to switch on (put on?) the left (maybe it was right) indicator, and then reach back to scratch behind my ear.

Wondering whether I’m just telling you a story emphasizing the importance of cleaning behind your ear and maybe endorsing Johnsons & Johnsons Q-tips? No. This is the story I'm trying to say.

But before you proceed: Health Disclaimer!

20 minutes earlier…

If you ever park under a tree for maybe 2 or 3 hours, then come back to said parking and enter your car and drive off. If you ever, having driven off, see something unusual on the windscreen. If the unusual things begins moving/slithering across your windscreen. If the unusual thing does not get off your windscreen even after spritzing it with wiper water. If the unusual thing has no wings and obviously a brain, meaning it does not just leap of your windscreen and land on the road or in front of someone's tyre, therefore it just remains on your windshield. If the unusual thing eventually disappears. If you’re sure the unusual thing must have decided to risk the jump and be off the car by now. If you forget that there was even an unusual thing and continue to drive on. Do not! I repeat, DO NOT roll down your window because you’re feeling hot. Because the unusual thing will slither through the window, and perch on your head. And you, thinking it's an itch, (what the hell typa itch would that be anyway???), will touch the unusual thing. And you will veer off the road, screeching with your mouth closed (because unusual things love to get into unwanted places) and have a mini panic attack as you wonder what has become of the unusual thing which has, once again, disappeared. IN THE CAR!!!

Lizard! I will find you, I will not kill you because I will be running away from you!