The One In The Gym

This blog post was created while I was supposed to be working out. You see even I have fitness goals.

But bread!:(

So I went to the gym the other day, and noticed a few characters that cut across the gym board. First one:

1. Go Too Hard Guy.We know this guy. Definition of commitment. He forgets he’s in the gym with other humans and shouts, spits, screams, yells and jeers for the guys in the streets to hear.

2. Hottie That Makes Workouts Look Easy. We never know why she's in the gym, with her perf hair and butt-iful face.

Then again, it’s because she’s in the gym and not blogging about being in the gym:/.

3. Grandpa.

We all worry if this will be his last gym session.

4. Grandpa Who's Fitter Than You.

We have reason to believe he was the Go Too Hard Guy in his youth.

5. The Buff-Guy.

We’re not sure how he got that buff because all he does is walk around wiping sweat off his brow, drink water, flex, brag about his in and outta gym conquests, then maybe do some skips.

6. Girl Who Lifts-and is so chill about her strength and fitness. Go Too Hard Guy tries to train her. Buff Guy is intimidated by her.

7. Girl Who Is Lifted.

All the gym folk are sooo eager to help her,because she's cute and helpable.

8. Mr. Sweatpants And Not Just On His Pants

9. Indecent exposure.

Often Grandpa! Sometimes Buff-Guy. All times disgusting. Always keep it under wraps!

10. Me. Just minding my own business, going hard, doing what I gotta do, working at my goals…

Except I'm in the restaurant, eating cake. Who wants some. It's carrot cake so technically...

P.S. Thanks Internet for lending me pictures I just googled and didn't bother checking where they're from. Always appreciate you!

Chikoleko Diva's Heart, not like ripped outta the chest bloody but..you know..from the heart: Depression Is...

Depression is...

Being Unreachable

Being Unreliable

Being Too Fragile

Having No Reason

Perfecting The Mask

Not Understanding

A Lot Of Work

Fear

Monotony

A Joke

Nothing

Forget it, it doesn’t matter

My Day In Pictures

Guuuuyyss!!! So I’m driving with my mama in tow (does that mean she was in the passenger seat? Because that’s what I mean. I don’t mean, like, I towed her

). Anywho..so I’m driving and start to feel a tad bit hot. I roll down my window slightly to inhale the cool, fresh breeze.

I scratch behind my ear then reach for the radio..which is a  lie because my cars radio is a big hole where I put my phone and play music from there. Technically means I have a Sony radio in my car!

So I just scratch my ear. I continue whining to my Ma about something or other. I scratch behind my ear again; darn conrows, it’s time for a wash, maybe. I reach my hand to switch on (put on?) the left (maybe it was right) indicator, and then reach back to scratch behind my ear.

Wondering whether I’m just telling you a story emphasizing the importance of cleaning behind your ear and maybe endorsing Johnsons & Johnsons Q-tips? No. This is the story I'm trying to say.

But before you proceed: Health Disclaimer!

20 minutes earlier…

If you ever park under a tree for maybe 2 or 3 hours, then come back to said parking and enter your car and drive off. If you ever, having driven off, see something unusual on the windscreen. If the unusual things begins moving/slithering across your windscreen. If the unusual thing does not get off your windscreen even after spritzing it with wiper water. If the unusual thing has no wings and obviously a brain, meaning it does not just leap of your windscreen and land on the road or in front of someone's tyre, therefore it just remains on your windshield. If the unusual thing eventually disappears. If you’re sure the unusual thing must have decided to risk the jump and be off the car by now. If you forget that there was even an unusual thing and continue to drive on. Do not! I repeat, DO NOT roll down your window because you’re feeling hot. Because the unusual thing will slither through the window, and perch on your head. And you, thinking it's an itch, (what the hell typa itch would that be anyway???), will touch the unusual thing. And you will veer off the road, screeching with your mouth closed (because unusual things love to get into unwanted places) and have a mini panic attack as you wonder what has become of the unusual thing which has, once again, disappeared. IN THE CAR!!!

Lizard! I will find you, I will not kill you because I will be running away from you!