The one with the grudge..

Being a teacher has its pros and cons. The pros are that you get to teach kids using funny accents & deliberate mispronunciations and then laugh at them as they pay for it for the rest of their lives*evil grin*. The cons are that there has got to be discipline. Nobody ever wants a tongue lashing, or time out, or in the old days-a good ol’ ass whooping(according to our constitution, and the BNC discipline rules and regulations-ass whooping is not part of a teachers job description). So in the institution that I work in, we don't hit children(so help us God),or “chapa” them(as my vernacular so aptly puts it). But we darn well discipline them. Almost daily. Don’t they ever learn? Don’t we?

and ofcourse we don't do this..*whistles**looks around*

Here's a discipline story I won't ever forget. There was a lil two and a half year old boy, Ange let's call him! He was being sooo unruly, and loud, and naughty. So I got upset(cross,unhappy,disappointed-diplomatic words teachers use. Really, I was downright pissed off). So I put him in the toy box for time out(when I put him in the corner he thought it’s a new game, so toy box it had to be). And hovered there with my lightning eyes so he knew I meant bi'ness. He wailed and wailed. Then wailed some more. We went out for lunch (ok I stood at the door peeping in for like 1 minute 43.5333972 seconds before I was back for him)and I found him still crying-eyes puffy, face hot. He was miserable. And he associated his misery with me.

I felt so guilty (this was one of my 1st punishing experiences-I assure u I no longer feel this guilt thing anymore). So yeah he slept & woke up and was generally subdued till hometime. The next morning, he came in bubbly as usual, but when I greeted him he gave me lightning eyes and ran straight for the toys. I was aghast. I was saddened. It was awkward. Was he giving me silent treatment? He must still be angry-I thought. Why won't he talk to me? What should I do now? Should I write him a letter? Well he cant read, so maybe a gift? What's that frown he’s making when he looks my way?

Lightning Eyes

It was a trying morning.

So later in the morning I called him. He didn't answer. Biting my fingernails I went to him & spoke. He stared at me blankly. Well he probably didn't understand, but still. I was so panicky that I confided in another teacher. I had to patch up this mess. After the crazy stare she gave me she replied, 
“He’s too young”. 
”Huh”, I retorted. 
“He can't hold a grudge. Kids don't hold grudges”. 
 WHAT I thought? And then I said it out loud. 
“WHAT,” I said. 
And surely, when I went back to the kids, with my new mindset, lil Ange joined in, jumping & shouting, holding my hand and trying to get my attention. He was my friend again. And where I thought he was ignoring me, he just wasn’t interested in what I had to say<OUCH>. Where I thought he was bitter, is that word even in his vocabulary? Where he stared at me blankly, well..he stared at me blankly.

Got me thinking. When is it that we learn to hold grudges? When do we learn bitterness?

"..Keeps no record of wrong.." After the wailing & weeping, the hurt and the feelings of "I don't deserve this. (I don’t deserve to be in this toy box)!!",you come back the next day and start over. That’s not to say you forget entirely that you were hurt. I mean when Ange did the wrong thing AGAIN that same morning, he saw my lightning eyes and must have remembered the previous day’s repercussions, and was immediately remorseful. So he remembered. But-BUT-he chose not to remember. Does that make sense? You haven’t entirely forgotten the harsh words spoken, or the heart broken, but you choose not to wake up and remind yourself that, “oh yes, I remember that yesterday I was really hurt by you”. I think we constantly decide to keep a record for keeps sake, instead of just letting it go. It happened. But don’t keep it!

Keep no RECORD of wrong. BaDUMtshh!!

Needless to say, I've punished Ange severally after that. And he’s always forgiven me:)!