The One Where *SINGS* If I Were A Boy

There's this child in the school where I teach. At first glance you can't quite tell if the child is a girl or a boy; not with the child's looks, nor the child's name. Only when you see the child sullenly sneaking into the girl’s bathroom is when you're like,

"Oh snap, what's that boy doing in girl’s changing room"?

I personally find her very cool; short hair, dresses just like a dude-never in dresses or those lame glass slippers the other girls giggle about. Always takes the guy roles in plays, plays soccer & basketball in the boys’ team, and sulks when put in the girls’ team.

Kind of reminds me of me when growing up.

Ok…Ok I lie.

BUT STILL!

I always wanted to be a guy when growing up (sort of still, maybe do..) and envied my brothers of all the male privileges they had.

Here are a few basic reasons I wished I was a boy:

1)      You can take off your shirt: growing up we'd go to the coast for holiday sometimes, and I used to envy how my brothers and dad would remove their shirts simply because they felt hot.

                                   

 I had to burn, and still cover up with a shirt because "I’m a girl".

(also I didn't want to be stalked, kidnapped and made into a child slave by creepy scary man..)

2)      You can pee standing: peeing for girls is tedious, it’s just a lot of work and I don't want to go into details.

But boys pee standing! How luxurious is that?

3)     Still slightly obsessed with the peeing story-You can pee anywhere: again on those road trips-I had to wait to get to a nice, clean, sanitized hotel if I needed to use the loo. My brothers stopped at any bush that they saw fit, and marked their territory. 

Grrr!

4) They stink: Boys don't have to shower! UNFAIRRR!!!! They stink & get away with it.

5) They can do anything-from hanging upside down above the thorn bush, to breaking a girl’s heart. AND get away with it. Sometimes with minor scratches!

6) They don't need to do their hair-They can shave bald all their lives, and still be tall dark and handsome.

We shave bald and are either "kinda lucky we kinda pull it off” or “OMG she’s dying soon..so sad" or "Are going through an identity crisis".

7) Female problems-need I say them??

8) Also, they don't get pregnant!

9) They don't have the crazy little brain gnome called ‘Emotion’ that basically directs everything they say and do. They have a happy gnome called 'Logic' ...who is logical!

10) They can climb trees