The One With OMG THAT'S A LARGE BABY

I must clarify,I am not a fattist.

 At all. 

I love all people-fat, thin,robust and slim,short or tall,flat footed or big footed or sasquashfooted, pretty or "OMG MY EYES THEY BURN!!",weird or boring,I love you all!!

 Physical features rarely define how I relate with you-that's a lie ofcourse..coz caucasians get very different reactions from me compared to my fellow african folk,

but I really digress. I just have a formula that I'll raise my kids on:

1) put them on a diet at the age of IMMEDIATELY,

or 

2) teach them to walk at 6months. 

Here's why.

I get parents who bring gigantic children-no offense whatsoever intended-I love those kids so much & will continue to feed 'em whatever gigantic meal their parents pack.

However when this happens:

"Here,carry my little precious angel,she's sad"..

I'm like,"Where's the forklift?"  

Then I diplomatically put them down & say,"no no were teaching them to be independent.." as I pretty much collapse under their weight.

What's even scarier is when this happens:"ooh there's teacher..baby run to her"..

*hulk like footsteps*

And then...they proceed to re-enact avengers for me..

Now perhaps you understand why I'll put my child on a diet from age newborn/will my body to produce skim-milk/teach them to walk at 6months.

Though I figure I’ll be facing other repurcussions with this...