I always read stories to my little kids. The fun
thing with kids is they can’t read so really they have no idea what I’m reading
to them, as long as it sounds fun and interesting and is animated and lively.
There is this one time I wanted to read for them
Goldilocks and the 3 bears but couldn’t find the storybook, so I decided to use
a couple of toys and dolls as illustrations and recite the story from memory.
We all have a general idea of how Goldilocks and
the 3 bears goes?
No?
No judgment, by the way. I figure some of you went
to ‘pree-mari’ while others went to ‘academy’ so, here’s a basic summary:
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks.
She went for a walk in the forest.
Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She knocked and, when no
one answered, she walked right in.
At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was
hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.
"This porridge is too hot!" she exclaimed.
So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.
"This porridge is too cold," she said
So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.
"Ahhh, this porridge is just right," she said happily
and she ate it all up.
After she'd eaten the three bears' breakfasts she decided she was
feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw
three chairs.
Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.
"This chair is too big!" she exclaimed.
So she sat in the second chair.
"This chair is too big, too!" She whined.
So she tried the last and smallest chair.
"Ahhh, this chair is just right," she sighed. But
just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!
Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to
the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard.
Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in
the third bed and it was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep.
As she was sleeping, the three bears came home.
"Someone's been eating my porridge," growled the Papa
bear.
"Someone's been eating my porridge," said the Mama bear.
"Someone's been eating my porridge and they ate it all
up!" cried the Baby bear.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Papa
bear.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Mama
bear.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all
to pieces," cried the Baby bear.
They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the
bedroom, Papa bear growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed,"
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama
bear
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still
there!" exclaimed Baby bear.
Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed,
"Help!" And she jumped up and ran out of the room.
Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the
forest.
And she never returned to the home of the three bears.
THE END
For some reason I forgot what the story
was about after she entered the bear’s house, so I decided to switch it up
altogether:
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She
had been sent on a mission to Bear Forest where a family of bears lived, and
terrorized the innocent villagers every night. As the best warrior in the
village, she’d been sent by her Sensei to capture these bears. Or else, she’d
be their next victim.
She hid outside their cave until she was certain
no-one was in, then sneaked in stealthily looking to find clues as to their
strategies and their next victim.
She entered the house and found 3 bowls of..um..bones.. (For some reason these
carnivorous, man-eating bears had table manners, ate in bowls and tidied up
their bones). In anger she flung the bowls onto the floor, her fury more fueled to capture her enemies.
She kept walking deeper into the cave until she reached 3 chairs.
She decided to sit on each of the chairs, and get an idea of how the bears
would think while sitting there.
She sat on the biggest chair, and it made her more angry. She sat
on the middle chair and she felt as cold as ice. She then sat on the baby
chair, and as it reclined, the wall behind her opened, revealing a room with 3
beds and 3 maps above the beds.
She entered this room cautiously, and lay on each bed to see what
was written on the maps.
She saw each map had clues to their next attacks, and when she
reached the baby bed the secret revolving wall flung shut behind her. SHE WAS
TRAPPED!
The bears malevolently entered their home, angry at failing to
find a kill. For some reason the villagers were nowhere to be seen and the
bears were hungry. They reached the table to find their bowls of leftovers flung
on the ground, and they immediately began sniffing the ground for the intruder.
They saw that all their chairs had been sat on, and each of them roared, “Somebody’s
been sitting in my chair”. They knew they were closer as the scent of intruder
was fresh.
The bears found Goldilocks-Their Arch-Nemesis- in baby bears bed
and they go in for the kill. They surround her and Goldilocks removes her
Katana (Samurai Sword) and lunges at Papa Bear. Mama Bear grabs her in an
unfriendly bear hug and Goldilocks reaches for her dagger, stabbing her in the
leg. She kicks Papa bear and lunges at Mama Bear, wrestling with her until she
manages to punch her unconscious.
Baby bear lunges at Goldilocks but she only gently pushes him,
because she cares for little animals.
She realizes she is outnumbered and cornered, and reaches for her
grenade, throwing it behind her as she leaps to the open revolving wall. The
explosion behind her is deafening, but the bears escape and chase after her.
Luckily she has a good head start and leaps off into the darkness, leaving angry
bears behind her.
Daddy bear roars, “I’ll get you yet Goldilocks. This is not over…”
…To Be Continued…
Okay fine, I didn’t make it THAAAT
dramatic but once I started typing I saw it all in my head and it just became
fun.
What other children stories do you think can be re-written in a fun,
ninja-ey sorta way?
